Friday, 25 October 2013

Its good to talk

I have always been a believer that as a small family we should talk to teach other and never hare secrets. I Have tried to bring my kids up to know that they can come to me if they have a problem. I have always kept pregnancy tests in the bathroom cabinet since the girls were 14 or 15 and i buy condoms for them if they need them (some times i buy them for stocking fillers - the other year as a real joke, i bought JLS ones)

When i was trying to get pregnant with Tilly the kids knew that we were trying, and as soon as i was pregnant they were the first to know. Through out my pregnancy they were such a big part of it and we didn't choose Tillys name until all 4 of us agreed on the same one.

Before i had Tilly it felt like my family were falling apart, one of my children was really mis behaving and had got a criminal record for violence, this caused a knock on affect with everyone else and i felt like i was losing grip on my family.

But after Tilly was born, my family seemed to gel back together again and i felt like we were a calm family again. When i became ill, it made us even closer as a family and i was open about mental health and i think it changed all our views on the subject.

Recently i have found the closeness disappearing, the stress levels rising and with 3 young adults aged 21, 19 and 18, and a toddler along with me in a small 2 bedroomed house (we own the house so we have no option to move, we manage but we live in each others pockets), its hard for us all to get on and communicate.

I recently bought all this up with a councillor and her suggestion was to start setting ground rules and have a rota in place to get everyone to help out in the house. So i wrote the rota and presented it to the kids and they were horrified that they were being treated like children. But after a few mumbles and grumbles, i am pleased to say the rota is working, people are helping out more and then the atmosphere is less stressful in the house. We are actually talking to each other more as well and its nice that everyone is taking turns to make the evening meal.

I still yearn for the day my older ones start moving out so it can be just me and Tilly, but i dont think its happening anytime soon, so we will plod on as we do and enjoy living together as a family xx

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