Wednesday, 2 April 2014

Feeling Empty

So its been 4 days since Zachy starting working in Norway and i can believe the difference it has made. I Have less laundry, the Door gets locked at 7pm at night as we know that nobody else is coming home. I went to buy a french stick today and only had to buy a half size one, I really could of cried in Sainsburys! I made a bunch of cupcakes and then ended up taking loads to work as i realised that there was nobody here to eat the cakes. But on a plus size, we have a playroom for Tilly, although i had to clean teenage boys grubbyness away and i painted it purple for her (i did phone Zach to check he didnt want to come home before i painted it). Its only a very tiny room but it will move loads of toys out of my front room so i am  happy, and she will have her own little space to play.

For many years when i was bringing the three older ones up, we were over crowded. i had bought a 2 bed house when they were younger as it was the only house i could afford, thinking that it would be a stop gap house untll they got older and they would either move out or we would get a bigger house - neither happened! When Beth moved out, it eased the situation greatly as it meant Tilly and i could move into the big bedroom, and actually have space instead of having to share a tiny room with two beds pushed together, in order to fit in the room.

When Tilly was born we had a room built in the lounge, so i lost alot of lounge space, but it meant Zach had a room down stairs. Now this room belongs to Miss Tilly and she has her own choice of decoration and hopefully having a small playroom will make up for not having a bedroom of her own.

But i still feel like my world feels like its shrinking and my children no longer need me, they are working their own way in the world. Beth doesnt live far away, but its far enough for her to go weeks at a time without a visit. But atleast she stayed in the country lol.

I actually hope that zach manages to get another job at a different golf course abroad after his contract finishes as he might aswell do it whilst he is young. I travelled alot as a youngster because my dad was in the army and i have always ensured my kids visited different countries and experienced different things. They might even keep zach on in Norway - but we will see :)

I am visiting him in may, and i am hoping to see the northern lights - we will see. I have had a list of items to take out for him and the top of the list is CHEESE! apparently its not nice out there :(

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