Monday, 19 October 2015

Doing The School Run

Doing the school run is absolutely the most painful part of being a parent, Yes its worse than actually giving birth to the said child your taking to school. After getting up I try to rouse my child from her beauty sleep, it always makes me wonder how she can get up at 5 or 6AM on a weekend but struggle to wake up by 7AM on a school day. What is it with kids? Do they have a reverse clock or something?
I struggle to get her to eat breakfast but after a full year of her being at school, I can finally get her to actually eat a proper breakfast, something that consists of toast and jam or cereal, rather than the yoghurt and cheese string, she was insisting on having all last year. Whilst she eats her breakfast I usually have time to grab a bath and get dressed in my jogging bottoms and old miscoloured t-shirt. Every thing else in either in the washing pile or needs an iron. I grab a band and shove my unbrushed hair into a really unflattering ponytail, isn't the messy look fashionable or was that so 2014? well what ever it was, today I am wearing the school run hair.

Tilly finishes breakfast and comes to get her school shoes on, only for me to be faced with spilled milk down her top and I grab a baby wipe to try and clean it off - God bless the baby wipes!! I take my eyes of the dear child for a few minutes and she has gone, So after calling her back about a zillion times and having her ignoring me, I go and find her, so she doesn't have time to clean her teeth in the mornings but she found the time to play? sometimes I will find out exactly how a child's mind works. She goes to clean her teeth and I have to send her back up again, does she seriously think I can't tell that she hasn't used toothpaste? After sending her back up again and this time watching her clean her teeth, I think she is ready for school. We creep out the door hoping nobody will notice me with the unbrushed hair, the purple jogging bottoms and green top, preying nobody will stop and talk to me. (the winter is better as you cover it with a coat)

Off we go, coats on and out of the door, 15 minutes later than I had wanted to leave the house. 15 minutes isn't that late I hear you say, But it means the difference between running or walking to school. I give my georgous dawdling daughter my mobile phone as an incentive to make her walk faster to school, we try to get up the road by an allotted time on the timer. She needs a rocket up her arse at times, I listen to the moans of how hard school is and tell her 'never mind, just hurry up!' we finally reach the school gates and run the gauntlet of the parents that have nothing to do than stand in the bloody school gateway, I mean really? you have nothing better to do than stand and chat when people are trying to get their child to school.??

Then I stop and stare at a lady wearing make up, at first I don't realise I am staring and she looks back at me and all I can think is ........ HOW THE HELL DO YOU FIND TIME TO PUT LIPSTICK ON!!!!!

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