Tuesday, 13 September 2016

Losing Your Blog Mojo

Since being on holiday I haven't really blogged. I think I actually lost my blogging mojo! I have been feeling up tight, bored and stressed but then I realised again it was because I haven't been blogging. I then realised that blogging has become so much a part of my life that I use it as my outlet. Instead of getting frustrated or angry, I just write it down. Sometimes I don't even publish it, I just leave it to fester in my drafts or give it to someone else to post on their blog.

Also since coming back from holiday it has seemed strange trying to get back to normality (I use that phrase loosely because there isn't really anything normal about us). We really took to Europe and we didn't want to come home, in fact I considered not coming home. But then that becomes a bore when social services get involved and I become the lady who ran away with her kid!

One thing that Tilly has struggled with since coming home is nightmare, She spent a night away from me and woke up upset after a nightmare that Nathan Green took me away, just like he did to her sister. It is taking a lot of reassurance that he is safe from him. Then one night again when she was with Kim, she started screaming in her sleep, she never woke herself up, but she did everyone else. I spoke to her counsellor who told us the first incident was a nightmare and the second was a night terror. I have been a mum for 24 years and never seen a night terror. When ever I saw people writing on social media that their child was experiencing night terrors, I just used to think they needed to man up and stop using that to describe nightmares - now I feel bad! But now I know the difference and feel happy that Tilly doesn't remember the night terror.

Stock image from Pixabay

Her councillor is doing play therapy with her and she is happy to go to her and talk about her feelings. When ever I ask if she has seen Barbara, she always has a smile on her face. It is good for her to talk about her feeling and I know we will all work together to help her through the tough times she is having.

I have a trip coming up to Turkey, which I am really looking forward to and I have booked Kim and Tilly into Butlins for a week. The reason that Tilly isn't coming to Turkey is because I am going with a friend an I am going to drink gallons of vodka and eat crap food whilst flirting with the Turkish men. It is my time to play and not be responsible for 2 weeks. I don't drink at home and manage a lunch te in the pub about once every two months, so it will be so nice to get out and be myself.

So for now, I am going to bumble on with life, juggle life and try to kick start this blog writing lark again!

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