Being a single mum is incredibly hard work and I am constantly tired! I have to juggle childcare between my daughter Kim, Who blogs at www.memylifeandthetardis.co.uk and friends. I often find myself asking friends to look after her at last minute and to be honest it makes me feel crap that I can't do it all myself! But although it is hard work being a single mum, there are so many benefits of being a single mum.
I Am The Only Parent
Although I have the older kids, who have been just as much part of parenting Tilly, she knows that I am her only parent. Sometimes she tells people that she doesn't have a dad, but she does and I remind her of that. She has a dad, but she doesn't have anything to do with him. Everything is down to me,
I Make The Choices
I am the one who makes the choices that involve my kids, and I have made some pretty good choices over the years - even if I do say so myself!
I Cry At Night Over My Failings As A Parent
BUT I get all of the parental love, I get told that they don't need a dad because they love me so much. And I am the one that gets the joy of every little achievement that they do.
I Get To Celebrate Mother Day And Fathers Day
Kim has always made it a thing from when she was a child, that not only did I get treated on Mothers day, but I also acted like a dad to them too so I deserved to have Fathers day too.
I Support My Child Myself
I don't receive any child support for Tilly. Her dad said that he wasn't working and I have no idea whether he is or not now. But I don't chase him for money because I feel if he wanted to contribute to his child's life, then he would have done by now.
I Am Teaching My Child To Be Independent
Because we don't rely on anyone else to support us as a family, I am teaching my daughter that she doesn't need to rely on others. I am hopefully teaching her that she is strong enough to look after herself and that she doesn't need a man to support her. She is going to grow up as a strong woman, just like my older kids did. They grew up without a father in their life and they grew up to be strong independent people.
I Don't Let Her Down!
Being a lone parent means that I will never let her down, I have learnt this one from the past. When the older kids were growing up, they were constantly let down by their father. He would say he was coming to take them out and would never arrive. I was always the one who bought the PlayStations, the TVs, and the must have doll at Christmas. They would get a £3 gift from their dad until they were older and then it was a £20 in a card. I swore I would never let them down as a child - and I never did.
I Don't Have To Share The Love And The Joy Of Parenting
My kids belong to me! If you are not going to spend time with them, keep in contact with them, play them off against me - then you don't deserve to be part of the parenting.
I Am Proud
When the older children were little, it was still shameful to be a single mum. I swore back then that my kids would come to something and they would never be known as coming from a broken family. Single parents were always typecast as failures, If anything ever happened in town it would be blamed on 'those kids from broken homes' I took this very personally and was determined that nobody would ever talk about my kids like that. I am EXTREMELY Proud of each of my kids and the choices that they have made, some of them may not have been what I wanted, but it's what they decided they wanted to do.
I Get All The Laughter!
I don't have to share her laughter with anyone else, I created that laughter and it is in my memories, not anyone else's.
Are you a single parent? whats the best thing about it for you?
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