Do you ever feel like your parenting skills aren't enough to give your child a happy and stable childhood? Tilly went back to school two weeks ago and I feel like she's having trouble adjusting to being a junior. Going from infants to juniors is a big leap anyway and from being the oldest in the playground she has to be in the smallest in the playground and it has been a little bit of a shock to Tilly. After her first day, she came home and said that she didn't like the playground because she got pushed around by the older kids. But luckily since then, she seems to be coping with the school playground a little bit better.
Tilly struggles with school anyway because she has dyslexia and she has no interest in learning anything. She would rather walk away from Reading back then struggled to sit and read it, obviously this isn't helping her and she needs to learn to read more. I feel that her confidence has taken a knock and she isn't willing to fight anymore because it's easier just to walk away.
I have always tried to encourage her to do things to the best of her ability and to see her like this makes me wonder where I've gone wrong and how I failed her. She doesn't seem to be the cheerful Tilly that she normally is and I think that she is struggling with the responsibility of being in the older end of the school. She's not the smiley little girl that I'm used to seeing and I haven't had a giggle for a few days now. She is coming home tired and will go to sleep not soon after.
She is having nightmares too and waking up in tears coming into my room and being too worried to tell me about her dreams. I did get out of her the other day that she had a bad nightmare about somebody killing her sister, she looks up to her sister like a second mum and this dream terrified her. She has started wanting to speak to her sister, 3 or 4 times a day just for security and peace of mind. Kim doesn't mind of course because Tilly has been through so much and it's nice to see her going out of her way to ensure that her sister is settled and calm.
I am worried that she could be suffering from anxiety again and I think a doctors visit may be on the cards. She also keeps asking me about her weight and mentioning that kids keep calling her chubby, this has been dealt with at the school but it's playing on her mind and on Saturday she was saying she wouldn't eat and she keeps asking me how much fat is in food. Ffs she is 7 years old and she shouldn't be worrying about food at her age. She does have some puppy fat, but she will grow into her body properly as she gets older and I just think it's a shame that someone is seen as different or "not the norm" and they pick on someone. I don't want food to be her enemy. I wish I could be with her 24/7, but I can't. I know I need to loosen the apron strings a bit but her teacher must look at me and think 'what a dick!'. Maybe I baby her too much, and that's why she is being like she is. She is pushing boundaries and I know it's because she has had this huge change with the school and I guess it's her way of coping.
She is growing up so fast and its as if she feels left behind, Its times like this that I want to go back to the notion of home ed, I know she isn't happy at school and I know she is struggling. Tilly is my laid back little girl, but she isn't feeling so laid back at the moment with all of the pressure she is feeling.
Does anybody have any advice?
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