Recently I had an appointment with Tilly at the child mental health unit to discuss how she is and to see if they can help her with her anxiety. So I took her to the appointment after I collected her from school. Took a 40-minute bus ride to the next town where the appointment was and arrived in the nick of time. I was rushing about and explained that we only had until 4pm to get the last bus home. The appointment seemed to go well and we decided that the best way to help Tilly was through a counsellor at school. I do prefer this option because it means that she doesn't miss any school time and I don't have to get that damned bus to the next town.
I have seen on Facebook where people have been worried about these appointments in the past and I thought to myself... Hmmm there was nothing wrong with that and we seem to have decided an outcome to help Tilly, so I was happy when we left.
Roll on today and a letter arrived from CAMHS. I opened it and I was actually a little bit shocked about the content of the letter. It started by saying the reason why Tilly had been referred and then went on to talk about the way she was dressed. I'm sorry but what has the way she was dressed have to do with her mental health? He never said anything when we were there about the way she was dressed or that anything that we did or said was going to go into the letter for the GP. As I read the letter I read with even more disbelief!
So her appearance was 'Fairly Kempt' WTAF is that supposed to mean? I had bought her from school, she had dinner down her top and wouldn't put her jumper on to go to the meeting. Her hair was a mess but sheesh, she had come from school. Tell anyone who has perfect hair by the end of the day. I read on and the letter went on to risk levels. Tilly is at low risk - I knew this anyway, but this is not explained where she would be at risk. Does it mean she is at low risk of harming herself or whether she is at risk from me? It mentioned that I get a lot of time away from Tilly - I GO TO WORK! and I go on 'holidays' - I GO ON ONE HOLIDAY A YEAR. Whatever was spoken about in the meeting was taken out of context and twisted. Although I have nothing to hide and as a person at the moment, I am feeling strong and in a good place, if I wasn't feeling confident and was suffering from my mental health, This would make me feel a shit mum. As it is, I know I do my best as a parent. So what if Tilly looked like she had been dragged backwards through a bush? What does that have to do with the anxiety she is feeling? Had the reasons for the comments in the letter been explained and I was told at the meeting that he was making a note of all of this then it is explained and I would know to expect it. What if I had collected her school and she was in a worst state than 'fairly kempt'? What do they even classify as 'fairly kempt'? Did they expect my child to come out of school perfectly clean?
I can see why people are terrified of meetings like this because their parenting is bought into question. People try to do their best for their kids and if things get misinterpreted like this, then it could lead to them coming under Social Services radar. When a parent needs help with their child, its because they are trying damned hard to help them. Its not because they want to be criticised for their parenting. I am very disappointed with the CAMHS system and the way it has been portrayed to me.
For now, Tilly is feeling okay, she still has nightmares that Nathan Green is going to get her on a weekly basis but we are dealing with them. Tilly still looks fairly kempt when I collect her from school, but to be honest on a Friday morning as I am dashing to school with her she has that really unkempt look! Good job we didn't have a CAMHS meeting on a Friday!
Thursday, 16 November 2017
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