Tuesday, 28 August 2018

Do you know what really grinds my shit?

Do you know what really grinds my shit?

it's when appearance means more to some people than anything else! In the week, I got my hair cut and I had some highlights put through.  I had it done because the roots were coming through and I was feeling a bit down after all the illness that I had. So to cheer myself up I thought I would treat myself.
The haircut took a bit of getting used to because it was a lot shorter than I normally wear it. But I was in awe of how good it looked and don't mind saying myself, that it made me look younger.
As my son was over from Holland, I went out on Saturday and it was such a different experience from when I usually go out. You know why? Because I felt sexy, I felt young and I was ready to party. My haircut had given me so much more confidence for a while. I posted a picture of how I looked on social media and I loved the comments on there, they helped to boost my confidence. 

When I was out, there were actually men that took their time to talk to me, when at other times, they wouldn't usually bother. If I was wearing my "mum look" they would probably cross over the road to avoid me as I look like something out of little Britain & even I would cross the road to avoid me.
It actually got me thinking that, if men can be so shallow as to only want to talk to me because of the way I looked, then I had no intention of talking to them when they had looked down at me at other times. One man even tried to put his hands around me, what is that all about? Then there was the young man who had met a girl in the evening but every time, she left the table, he wanted to be all over me. If you're not happy with the girl you were with, then at least have the decency to let her down... Anyway roll on 4am and I left the pub with my friends and family, and the couple came with us too. We got outside, said goodbye to the young girl but her male  "friend" started walking with me, I know exactly what he wanted. I made it clear that I wasn't up for anything like that and he backtracked and dashed down the road to be with the girl he was originally with. They were last seen walking off into the distance, holding hands. Is there really any wonder why women don't trust men!

Don't get me wrong, it's not only men that are shallow, it's the women too. I see it a lot in people that have lost weight. "I will never be that fat monster again," one said to me once, yet if she had called herself that when she was fat, or someone had said it to her then she would have been upset. "Vicky, why don't you do this diet or that diet?" I get asked by the people that have lost weight. "you will look so much better for it" I hate the shallowness, I just want to shout at them "STFU, bitch! I am who I am and if you don't like it, then walk away. Besides, you lost 6 stone, but now look twice the age you are because there is nothing in your face to make it look smooth. My face is wrinkle free because my skin is stretched over my chubby face and I love it" but do I say that to you? No, I don't, so stop telling me how I should look.

I am like the next person and I like the compliments when I make a change in my appearance, who wouldn't but I am still the same person underneath, and I always will be. I am still Vicky who is opinionated, abrupt, sarcastic and funny but who has a heart that's been smashed into a million pieces before. I have the same feelings as I have always had, I just look a little different at the moment.

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