Friday, 31 August 2018

My Seven Days On Tinder

Oh my days, I just don't know where to actually start. So I set up a new Tinder account on Saturday, I had been on tinder about 18 months ago but deleted the account and started afresh. I set it up with a picture that was taken on a night out and just swiped right for everyone that was in my 25-mile radius (although Tinder can't count and I was getting people from much further away). It took a few minutes to get some matches and that is when the Tinder nightmare started.

Of course, some men are coming across as sincere and genuine but others are coming across as objectifying women and just wanting a quick shag and get straight to the point. I like honesty in a man, but seriously I like a man that see's me as more than an object that he can get off on and have a quick shag with.  Women are better than this and don't even deserve to be treated like this. The idea of Tinder is to hook up with someone local and a lot of people use it to just have a one night stand, I love sex as much as the next person. But there are people looking for something more steady on there, okay they are probably stupid for using a pickup app like this to look for a permanent relationship because Tinder has got to be the biggest joke EVER.
So what did I learn from Tinder? 

I learnt that no matter how desperate you are, don't ever use this app! I learnt that I am hard skinned because one bloke especially was rude and nasty to me, to the point I told him that I was writing a blog post and he told me to do it. I learnt that men are still stuck in the past, where you can't put a nice photo online without it making you an object of their sexual desire. If only they could see me now, sitting in my bed, writing this blog post with my hair tied back and no makeup on, wearing jogging pants and a manky top. I learnt that there are some pretty nasty people out there and if I had chosen to go on a date with one of them and they showed their true colours when I was alone with them, that would scare me.  I learnt that 39-year-old men need to know that they shouldn't tell 45-year-old women that they like older women. Wtf is that about, I was only 6 years older than him, he made me feel like a granny. I learnt that there are some men with weird fetishes out there. One man told me he wanted to see my feet as he had a foot fetish, didn't have the heart to tell him that I would probably kick him in the face because I can't stand people who touch my feet. I learnt that when you play with fire, you will get burnt! Maybe that's what the fire symbol on tinder is all about. I learnt that the people behind Tinder are actually real people and when you bump into someone on the bus that you match with on Tinder, there really is nowhere to hide when they start making eye contact. I learnt that if you had no confidence and went on tinder to help find someone to love, you can be hurt in the trample of men looking for their next shag. They will be all nice to you and say you look nice and then when they realise they aren't going to get what they want, they will turn on you as quick as their erection appeared. I learnt that you can tell who didn't pull on a Saturday night because your phone starts pinging at 3 or 4 am with men declaring how lovely you look, you know they didn't pull and are looking for someone to spend the night with. (FFS its not about the looks!) I learnt that changing your picture makes a difference and you get fewer messages if it's not as good as the other one, or it's not what the men want to see.


Tinder is good if you get what you want from it, and I am not saying that women are completely blameless in this, of course, some of them probably play the same game. You can meet some nice people, they are far and few between and in my week on Tinder I have come across a few of these genuine people, you wish each other luck and move on to find something that you are looking for. But cropping my photo, to hide my boobs have definitely meant a drop in messages.



So I have come to the conclusion that Tinder isn't for me, why should I be put through so much objectification when looking for someone to spend some time with? I speak on behalf of all women that surely there are some nice men on Tinder that just want to get to know you for who you are. You know when you go strawberry picking at the end of the season? You have to pick through all of the bad fruit to get to the good ones. That kinda sums up Tinder. 

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