Saturday, 27 October 2018

Three Years Of Anguish And Pain Caused By An Evil Monster

It's been 3 years! That's 1092 long days since Nathan Green was convicted of being a paedophile. 26,208 excruciating hours since we found out the truth finally about what he had been up to. You know how I found out? A friend phoned me whilst I was in the supermarket and told me it had all gone to court and he had been found guilty of Paedophilia. The social services from Worcestershire didn't even have the decency to let us know that it was going to court. They didn't even give us a heads up that the details would be all over the internet before anyone else told us personally. They let us down in the biggest way possible. They may have removed my granddaughter from his care to save her from a dark future, but they failed us by not preparing us with the news that was about to break.

Picture of Nathan Green October 2015
Nathan Green took so much from me, he took my daughter, whom he has groomed to such a level that she is brainwashed and doesn't see any difference to what he is telling her. I lost my daughter the day he blinded us with the promise of a new life in Gloucester for her and her unborn child. I lost her the moment they drove away and I didn't see her again. The phone calls became more distant and I was lucky if I heard from her once a month. I kept telling myself that she was starting her own life and that they needed space. But the truth is - I TOOK MY EYES OF THE BALL! I was completely blinded. Had I handed her over to a paedophile ring on a plate?

This was the day 3 years ago that we decided to give up the fight for my granddaughter. How could I protect her when I couldn't even protect my own daughter. Nathan was placed on the sex offenders list for 10 years, so in ten years time, he could have come looking for his own daughter to start a life with her. But then my own child would be the same age as when he groomed my older daughter. Would she be at risk? I had to choose between my granddaughter and my own daughter. I chose the only option possible and let her go. Me and Kim cried for days as we made the decision, to let her go to a new family.

Letting Daisy go, was so hard. It still is really hard. I wonder what she is up to now, I pray that she is safe and hasn't been placed in a family that is never going to harm her. I wish that she is going to be kept safe and shielded until the day comes that she wants to come and find us. Half of me hopes she never does want to find us because then she will know the reasons that she was removed from her family. Daisy is 3 years old now, she will be starting school next September, so much of her future has been robbed from me.

Over the last 3 years, I have had to stay so strong for my family. I couldn't break down and cry because I was the grown up, I had to be strong for my kids. I shielded so much from Tilly to protect her, but then she had a bit of a breakdown. My baby was 5 years old and crying uncontrollably every night. She asked me if her sister was dead and why we never saw her. I couldn't tell her, I couldn't find the words to explain how monsters really were real and they hurt kids. I couldn't find the words to explain the whole situation to her, she was a baby and was experiencing something so bad in the world. Luckily she told me one morning about how easy it was to come across a bad person on the internet - that was the moment I knew she was ready to know. I never told her the extent of the crimes. I just said that he hurt children. Still, she cried every night, she sobbed so much that it broke my heart. Kim and I both stayed strong for her, she needed us more than a child ever needed anything in her life. That's when I decided to take her to Europe, she needed to know that there was good in the world. I needed to counteract the bad memories with some new good ones.

Now we have more smiles than crying
I was so preoccupied with helping Tilly, that I missed the fact that Kim was having a breakdown. I didn't know she was suffering under my eyes. I was failing again as a mother, I hadn't protected another child. Kim got some help, she started on antidepressants and saw a therapist. She had sacrificed so much to keep things normal for her sister, that she had made the ultimate sacrifice and stayed strong for her whilst dying inside. This makes her a superhero in my eyes, because she put someone else before her own happiness, to the extent that it broke her.

My son started afresh and got a job in Holland, he met Amber and she helped him to rebuild his life. Tilly was thrilled that she had a 'new sister'. She filled a gap, that my daughter had left, she isn't a replacement but a wonderful addition. Someone who came into our life at the right time. She bought excitement back to our life and I am proud to have passed my surname on to her, the day she married my son.

We have come so far in the past 3 years, it has taken that long to rebuild my life. I don't ever feel like I'm failing as a parent anymore - in fact, I know that I am an awesome parent and person. I haven't introduced another man into Tilly's life because I know she will have trust issues. I know I am stronger than I ever was and I will never let anyone intentionally hurt my family. Nathan Green will never be able to hide from me, even though he only has 7 years left on the sex offenders list, he will never be able to hide. I feel so much hate for him that will never go away, and the only way I can hurt him too is by the words I write. So I will always share his picture and the crimes he committed, I will do all I can to save another family from being destroyed like we were.

His crimes were having 41 still images and 2 videos at the worst Category A on Green's computer hard drive, 62 images and 2 videos at category B and 202 stills and 2 videos at Category C.

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