Saturday, 20 October 2018

Ways To Win At Confidence

We all suffer from problems with confidence every so often. I don't know anyone that doesn't suffer from confidence. Sometimes we are full of confidence and others we feel like we are failing at life. If you suffer from mental health problems, you will find that you have a love/hate relationship with confidence. I know I do, but at the moment my confidence is a 10/10 and I am loving life, but it isn't always the way. 

I want to share some tips on how to build your confidence and maintain it for as long as you feel you can. If you have anything that has worked for you please add it on the bottom in the comments and share it with others.

Photo by Steve Harvey on Unsplash

Talk to people that know you.

If you're not feeling very confident about yourself or your surroundings make sure you talk to your friends or your family because they are the ones that can give you the lift that you need. they love and I care for you and they are the ones that are going to be truthful with you and they can help you put everything into perspective to help you feel more confident once again.

Take a look at your clothes.

Do they make you feel good? Do you think some new clothes would make you feel more confident because when I wear new clothes I always feel confident. take a look at your old clothes maybe you can do something to Jazz them up take your skirt up a couple of inches to show your legs  or open a few buttons on your blouse because if you feel sexy, then you feel confident and if you feel confident you are going to win at whatever you're doing. bright colours and pretty patterns make us feel pretty and therefore make us feel confident whereas darker clothes make us feel dark and dowdy. Take a look at people who inspire you, they look confident yeah? Maybe what they are wearing could help you feel confident too .it's like if you're going to a meeting in the office, you will power dress because it makes you feel authoritative and confident.

Don't compare yourself to other people

We always compare ourselves to other people, don't we? It's happened all of our lives. We wonder why others are better at something or why they dress better .it's like when you have a baby and all the mums at a baby group compare their kid to others ."Oh my Quentin can say the alphabet at a year old". We all know its crap but it still makes you feel back and it bashes your confidence as a parent. So why would we compare ourselves against somebody else when we are older.  Everyone is different and nobody is better than anyone else, we just do stuff differently.

Don't ask others for approval.

To be able to be more confident you need to feel confident in yourself and asking other people how you look isn't going to achieve that you need to be able to look in the mirror and say  "God damn I look hot!". Don't feel like you have to please other people either you need to find the confidence within you. Once you're confident enough don't carry on seeking approval from others because you'll just look like an attention seeker. There's a difference between asking friends for confidence building when you're not sure how you look and then there is the attention seeking, half-naked body that you see on Instagram with a comment "Do I look ok in this?" When in fact your tits are hanging out your ass is barely covered and you know damn well that you look hot.

Don't be scared.

Put on a brave face and a smile because that will definitely help you feel more confident and you will look 100% confident too. Don't be scared to go out of your comfort zone and try something new it might mean starting a new club or group or it might mean going out on a date from Tinder. But once you've done this you will feel exhilarated and wonder why you were so scared in the first place. Sometimes when I look back at how I was after till he was born, I see the crushed person that I was, but now I see a person who tries not to be scared of anything. I know that I am projecting this confidence onto Tilly and showing her not to be scared of anything in the world.

Enjoy compliments

I am actually the worst person that I know for not enjoying compliments. if someone says I look nice then I love it but if 10 people say I look nice then I think to myself that I must look crap all the other times of my life. This is one area of confidence that I really struggle with because I don't like the attention all of the time but I still want to feel good and confident in myself. Learn to accept the compliments and they really do balance out the negative thoughts and comments that you might have or receive. If you look good and you feel good then you deserve that compliment!


Mindset really is a key to confidence too, I use it with Tilly my 8 year old when when she is having a difficult time in life and she's lost her confidence I get I get her to stand in front of a mirror and say "I am beautiful and I am confident" saying these few words before you go out in the morning means that you have it in your mind for the rest of the day and saying it out loud means you leave the house with a smile.

Have a pamper session

Having a pamper session either at home or at a beauty salon will really boost your confidence to no end. obviously, a pamper session at home going to be a little bit cheaper you can grab yourself a foot mask hair mask face mask pick up some new bits of makeup get a YouTube video up and copy the make-up tuitions. another option is to go to a beauty salon and have it all done for you this is the ultimate luxury but if you can't afford to go to a beauty salon ring up your local college and see if any beauty students are looking for models and you can go there for a fraction of the cost! Sometimes you can even go to a department store and get a free makeover at a stand like a Benefit stand.

Forget mistakes that you have made.

If you make mistakes in your life sometimes they define you as a person but you need to think about the mistakes and turn them into something positive. Mistakes are a learning curve and we gain experience from them without even realising. When you make a mistake, think about how you would have done it differently. Changing how you would do it again is a good lesson for the future so we don't all make the same mistakes. Getting it right next time will boost your confidence no end whatsoever!

Lose the negative

Negative people and thoughts can drag your confidence right down to zero. Do not let negative people or negative remarks be part of your life, you say online all the time where people are horrible to others around them. I see people being horrible about someone's grammar I see people being horrible about someone's appearance and I see people being horrible about someone's life choices but you know what it's nothing to do with anyone else, who are they anyway? You will never meet them or I'll speak to them again. Just ignore them and move along. If there are negative people in your real life - lose them, you don't need it and you're better than that. Negative people lead to negative thoughts from you and your confidence will be damaged.

Celebrate what you have done.

Everybody can be successful in life and success leads to confidence and in turn confidence leads to more success. So treat yourself, you will feel so much better and confident. If you have raised your confidence from zero, then you bloody well deserve to celebrate.

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