Wednesday, 16 January 2019

7 Ways To Save Your Relationship Including A Therapist

Whether you are in a relationship or a marriage, it takes a lot of hard work to ensure it is a successful and happy partnership between the two of you. You have to give and you have to take to make sure that you have an equal balance in the way you work things out. What happens when things don't work out as you had planned? Sometimes you come across problems within the relationship that needs to be sorted out before it gets too late and the relationship in unrepairable. Luckily there are a few ways that you can help yourselves to get back on track and today we would like to offer some suggestions to help you get back to that happy place.

Take Time To Listen

Do you often find yourself just agreeing to your partner but not actually listening? When was the last time that you sat down together and actually had a chat? Often when you are struggling in your relationship, you think to yourself that you wish you had listened more to them and understood what they were trying to say to you. Usually, it is often too late when you realise this. When you do listen, try not to be defensive with your replies, show empathy for how they fell and put yourself in their position.

Be Consistent 

Once you have had your chat and listened to how each other is feeling, you need to make sure that you are consistent with what you have said. Make sure you carry out all of the promises that you have just made to each other in your heart to heart conversation.  It isn't going to help your relationship if you make promises to change how you are feeling and the actions that you take but you don't follow through. It is so easy to slip back into old habits when you don't think about consistency.

Using A Couples Therapist

Sometimes within a relationship, you cannot see the problems because you are so in love with each other but you are struggling to make it work. You don't want to admit that there is a problem, so it's easy to brush it all under the carpet. Using a therapist brings a completely new perspective to the relation, someone from the outside who can see the problems that we can't. They are also qualified to give you suggestions of things that can help you to repair your relationship. They can see things from both sides of the relationship and they will encourage you to talk things through with them as well as between yourself. If you don't have time to go to see a therapist, there is also the option of seeking an online therapist. These days we work such long hours to make ends meet, then we come home to the kids and the home responsibilities. Who would find time to then go out and see a therapist? Speaking to an online therapist is easy and it means you can do it from the comfort of your own home, or somewhere that you both feel comfortable.

Regain Trust

Relationships are built on trust and sometimes we break that trust because we haven't kept our promises to our partner or we have betrayed them in some way. Building up that trust again can be difficult, but if you accept that you were wrong and take responsibility for the actions that you have taken. Then you are taking ownership and showing that you are working towards rebuilding your relationship. If you have hurt your partner, you need to show them that you are sorry and ask for their forgiveness. You need to show willingness and talk about how you will change your behaviour to make your relationship work for you both in the future.

Date Nights

Remember how it used to be in the beginning? The butterflies in the stomach when you went out on a date, the long phone calls that went on for hours and then at the end you would both say 'You hang up first' 'No, you hang up first'? Wouldn't it be great to get some of that back! I know that a relationship grows over time and you lose the honeymoon period BUT you can go back to having a little bit of fun. Go on date nights or leave the kids with their grandparents and go away for a weekend. Rekindle your relationship by talking to each other about themselves. Take time out from talking about kids and work. Rekindle your sex life and feel together again as a couple, rather than as separates that live in the same house. Date nights can help to keep a sparkle in a relationship as well as a way to get to know your partner again after becoming distant from them.

Remember That You're In This Together

When your relationship is falling apart, it is all too easy to think that you are in this alone - but you're not, you are both silently suffering and worried about being alone. You might think that you are the one who is worst off in the relationship, but you both have feelings and you can both work together as a team to make sure that you get through the tough times that may be ahead of you. As a team, you are both stronger and can face anything that life throws at you!

Talk To Each Other

I know that you talk to each other, but you need to talk to each other as if you are really listening to them. Before you go to speak to a professional, you need to be able to talk to each other. Being able to talk amicably is a good start before you go to see the therapist because then you will both be open to listening and actively working together to repair the relationship. Although talking to each other, may seem difficult at the time, once you get started you will be happy that you did it.

Have you got any tips on how to add sparkle back into your relationship?

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