Wednesday, 9 January 2019

Kids Learn From Your Own Example

If you know Matilda, you will know that she has such a hunger for adventure. She loves to try new things and nothing scares her. She is her own person and she is so strong and independent at 8 years old. That scared little girl that was traumatised with what had happened to our family, seems to be in the long and distant past. The name Matilda means ''great warrior'' in German. I chose this name for her because I had such a troublesome pregnancy and I nearly lost her. I chose the name because it suited my little fighter and here she is nearly 9 years old, showing me she is still a great warrior. She shows me every single day that she won't be beaten.

Mindset is one reason that she is so positive all of the time, She is so positive and she is always looking for quotes that will get her through the day or the week. Her sense of adventure and lust for life is also another reason why she is so positive. She always wants to try something new and is always up for a challenge. She never says that she can't do anything, I'm so proud of that kid!

There are so many ways that you can help your own kids be positive and in turn, it actually helps you become a more positive person. Who would have thought that kids can teach us in life? Here are some ways that you can help your child be so positive.

Be a great role model

Kids learn from the adults around them so they will copy everything that you do. Explain why the choices you make are important ones, be positive when you talk to them. Negativity can have such a negative impact on them.


Let them be emotional.

Kids need to be able to express their emotions and feel comfortable doing it. When a child is crying over something trivial, it's easy just to tell them to be quiet and stop making a fuss BUT that's not a good way to let kids be in control of their emotions. They need to know its okay to cry and then they will equally know how to laugh easier. Let your child know that is okay to laugh and cry because suppressing emotions means that your child could grow up with mental health problems.

Motivate them

Always be behind them, encouraging, praising and congratulating them. Every day, after picking her up, I ask Tilly how she got on and I always find something to praise her on and she grins from cheek to cheek. I can see the pride in her face and it puts her on a high for the evening. Even if it's congratulating her on eating all of her lunch or whether she got 100% in her reading test. Even if she gets 70% or 50% in her test, then I just say it doesn't matter because, in the grand scale of things, it really doesn't matter. She will get another chance to take the test or next week it will be another test.


Help them with problem-solving

Sometimes we all get frustrated because there is a problem that we cannot solve by ourselves. It's so frustrating and annoying, you should see me when I try to get off a level on Candy Crush! But often, it is better to go back to the start and see what has caused the problem and how we can solve it together. Kids need to know that they don't have to solve problems together and if we teach them that its okay to have problems, but to find a way to solve them, then this is an important life skill that you are teaching them.

Give them the freedom to do what they want (within reason)

Do you remember when you were a kid? When I was a kid, I used to play out for hours upon hours and only return when I was hungry or tired. These days because of things being shared so easily on social media, there seems to be danger around every corner of our child's lives. So we don't give them as much freedom as we had. This is really sad because their lives don't seem to be as enriched as ours was as a child. Let them If they have a hobby or they love doing something, then give them the freedom to do it, they learn so much from the things they do in life, so give them the freedom to grow and learn.

Teach them to have good strong morals

Instil good morals into them, this is easily done by teaching them right from wrong. But don't teach them in an aggressive way. When your child is naughty or plays up, talk to them about what they have done and why you will punish them. I am extremely lucky that Matilda never really plays up, but when she is naughty she loses her kindle for a day or two. If kids don't know where they have gone wrong, they can't do something different in the future. Although punishing kids is negative in your kid's life, teaching them that their behaviour has an effect on life and how people see them is important and they need to be held accountable for it. Also use examples of good things that people have done, to show them how kind others can be. Teach them to be kind.

Surround them in positive people

Who needs negativity in their life? not us for sure. We wouldn't surround ourselves with positive people, so why would we let our kids be surrounded by them? Positive people will help your child grow, whereas negative people will help your child to curl up into a ball and hide away from life. Positive people will have such an impact on your child's life and will help them to become the person that you want them to be.



Mindset

Your child listens to you and they will remember things that you teach them. So now is the right time to make sure that they learn mindset. Mindset is all about telling yourself that you are the best person that you want to be. That nobody can beat you down and that nobody can call you names if you have the positiveness in your mind. We are even going to an event in April, where Matilda will learn more about motivation and mindset. Ignite is a motivational event with speakers coming together to talk about their own stories and inspiring you to get ahead in your own life. You can find more details here.






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