Monday, 24 June 2019

Living With Mental Health

Vicky doesn't suffer from depression, she is always laughing!

I actually get that all the time, The fact that I do suffer from depression when people see me laughing and being the prankster all the time is a shock to some people. I mention mental health and I have had people laughing at that. People in my past laughed when I told them that I could hear voices after Tilly was born and I was suffering from severe PND. I want to shake people and tell them to shut the fuck up and listen with your ears and look into my eyes and see the pain that is going on inside the shell of a person that I am. Mental health affects so many different types of people from young to old and people from different backgrounds. It might be affecting your grandma, your child or your favourite pop star.

So let's get somethings straight, for once and for all.


  • Mental health is not a laughing matter - What someone with MH problems is going through is difficult enough for them and they just need someone to listen to them. Don't ever laugh at someone when they tell you what is wrong with them. It all seems logical to them because they are dealing with it. But to someone without the MH problems, it might seem pathetic or funny. Do not laugh at them, encourage them to talk and seek help. Show them that you are going to support them. 
  • When someone decides they are not going out with you at last minute, it isn't because they are attention seeking - Sometimes, we are all psyched up for going out with a friend for the day or a night out with a group of friends, only to let them down at last minute. It is not done on purpose and something must have happened to make them panic and change their mind. It takes a lot of guts for someone with MH problems to arrange to go out with someone and then they just lose all confidence in themselves and just cannot face going out. Try to encourage them to go out and tell them that you will look out for them.
  • I hate people! - This one is a bit of a jokey matter with me because I don't have a lot of patience with some people and I always say that I hate them. But the reality of it is that someone with MH problems will struggle to make new friendships because they don't trust new people in their life and they struggle to get to know them and trust them. Personally, I don't let my guard down until I really get to know people, because it is the way I protect myself from hurt. It takes a special person to walk into my life and I like them straight away. 
  • Just because they're laughing, doesn't mean a person is happy -  People with depression or more extreme mental health problems make excellent actors and actresses because they hide mental health so well, they become a different person so that society makes it more acceptable for them to be there. People have a perception of how you should act, look and be around them. So someone suffering from mental health problems will act as if they don't have a care in the world and then when they get home, they slide the mask off that they have been wearing and they just breakdown. 
  • When a person becomes quiet, it means there is something wrong - I have been accused of being ignorant for not getting in touch with people and I have been accused of being a miserable bitch for not keeping in touch with people, but take a step back and think to yourself that maybe its time that you got in touch with someone. Maybe its time for you to go out of your way and check your friend or family member is okay. unless of course, they don't really mean that much to you!
  • Something might seem trivial to you, but it is ginormous to a person with mental health - Sometimes a person with mental health is trying to get their shit together and it might just take one little thing to tip them over the edge. That one little thing might be something as little as saying a joke and it is taken the wrong way or interfering in their life. But it will be enough to tip the balance of everything that the person is trying to keep together. I have lost it over, being given the wrong drink before in a coffee shop.
  • People with MH problems find it easier to pretend things aren't happening - Sometimes people with mental health problems are very active on social media, this is because being online isn't real to them and they can hide behind the computer. This is why they hide bills and don't pay them and it's why people with mental health problems avoid doing things that they feel like they can't cope with. They will deny they are struggling with life and they will pretend everything is normal despite struggling with everything that is going on in their head.
  • Encourage, congratulate and compliment everyone - You don't know what is going on in someone's life and it is better to just be kind to everyone, you don't know what they are going through and what life has thrown at them. Being nice makes you feel better and it really does make you a nicer person
  • Recommend Online Therapy - Sometimes it is difficult to get someone to leave the house and go to seek help so encouraging them to do online therapy often helps because they can speak to someone in the safety and comfort of their own home. Pop over to look at https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/psychologists/is-online-psychiatry-effective/
Living with mental health problems is difficult enough without people making it more difficult for them. Sometimes you need to actually live with mental health to actually understand it. I am that person that lives with mental health, now I just need other people to help me get through life a little bit easier!





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