Monday, 15 July 2019

How Emmerdale Is Helping Me Understand Why My Daughter Is So Brainwashed

My daughter was groomed and brainwashed by a convicted paedophile in 2015. My whole world fell apart and my family was destroyed. It took a long time to put my family back together but it was hard knowing that my family isn't complete, and it won't be until my daughter comes home. I know that the whole grooming story has been followed on Coronation Street with Bethany and Nathan, but it never really followed the aftermath of the brainwashing. You see that's the part that I really didn't understand about the aftermath of my life. I find myself asking on a daily basis, 'why can't she get away from him?' But seeing it played out on tv has really helped me to understand it more and finally helping me to move on.

For my family, it is so frustrating because we don't understand why she can't or won't come home. I mean, surely she should have seen the light by now? Why can't she see that he is a bad person? And why the hell would she choose him over us? Does she really think that we don't love her as much as this monster that has taken her life and destroyed her? But seeing it happen to someone else and being on the outside, means that I can finally understand what is happening to her.  You see our biggest problem is Nathan Green, he was found guilty of being a paedophile but he was never EVER actually sent to prison. He walked free from court with a suspended sentence and 10 years on the sex offenders list. We all know that the sex offenders list means fuck all in this country because they are still given houses near to schools and allowed to walk the streets alongside children all of the time. If he had been given a custodial sentence, then I could have got her home. To safety. To us!

But she is still with him and there is part of my family still missing. Sometimes I want to bang her head on the wall and knock some sense into her and scream about what he has done to her, but I won't because I know she won't listen to me. He has completely changed her mindset and she sees us as the enemy. Watching Emmerdale and seeing how Jacob has so much hate for his parents, I actually understand why she feels like this. Paedophiles choose children that are vulnerable and that don't get on with their parents. They use that against them then and sympathise with them to get them on their side. They gain confidence and power, the more the child trusts them. This is the power that keeps the hold over the child and makes them think that they cannot or do not want to go back. 

Seeing Layla and David struggle to get Jacob to see what has been happening and he just won't listen to them. He thinks that he is in love with his abuser and that just isn't true. An abuser would never put you through the things that paedophiles put you through. In my daughter's case, she lost her child and I lost my grandchild. He had got her pregnant and then offered her child on the dark web to other paedophiles. The thought that my granddaughter was bred to fill his thirst for paedophilia makes me feel so sick and angry. Luckily she was adopted in a closed adoption and I pray she will never know why she was born. I only hope that one day she will come and find us because we have loved her from the day she was born. 

Seeing how he is so adamant that whatever his parents tell him, he doesn't believe he has been groomed and I don't actually think I had looked at things from my daughters view before. I think I needed someone to show me how it was from a groomed child's perspective. The whole storyline has been dealt with so well and I'm sure it will help many children and parents in the same position. The acting skills of Mathew Wolfenden and Joe-Warren Plant are worthy of awards because this is such a sensitive story to cover and they have acted it so well. The writers of the programme have really helped me to understand why my daughter feels like she cannot come home and although I have grieved for her loss and now I really need to move on and hope one day she will really understand that we love her and we have her best interest at heart. That we miss her very much and that we would love her to come home when she is ready. I have 3 daughters and not only 2!

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