How To Spot Your Teen Friend Is Being Groomed

Last Updated on: 27th November 2025, 06:16 pm

A few years ago some of my daughter’s friends said they wished they had seen the signs of her being groomed. Predators online doing the grooming are very clever. Because they will tell the victim how to hide the facts of what’s going on, And they will manipulate the victim. Then they will go to many lengths to hide the manipulation and convince the victim that they are in love with them. Here are ways to help spot if your teen friend is being groomed. Specifically, if they tell you that they have a boyfriend/girlfriend whom they met online and don’t know much about him.

I did write this a few years ago, but now Tilly is getting to the age where Beth was when she was groomed online. This is written in the perspective of a young girl being groomed because this was my own experience.

Has Your Friend Suddenly Become Very Secretive

Have they stopped telling you their secrets? Have they stopped sharing everything with you? Are they getting text messages that they won’t show you? Because people who abuse will try everything to stop their victims from telling their friends & family about the ”relationship”.

Have They Become Distant From You And Other Friends

As a teenager, you all become secretive, it’s all part of growing up. So there are going to be things that you want to be more secretive about. As teenagers struggle through their teenage years they become distant anyway. Especially as new opportunities open up for them. BUT This is also a sign of someone controlling and manipulating them. If you are worried speak to the safeguarding team at school.

Have They Mentioned An Older Person All Of A Sudden?

A lot of paedophiles on the internet will pose as a teenager to get close to a victim. But equally as dangerous, some paedophiles will admit to being adults (but younger than their real age). And they will tell the victim how grown up they are to have an adult boyfriend. They will convince a victim that they are in love with them to have sex.

The paedophile will convince the victim that they are grown up if they have sex. And they need to keep the relationship secret because nobody else will understand. Has your friend started to talk about sex more? This is a good way to spot that your teen friend is being groomed.

Is Your Friend Suddenly Sad Or Depressed?

They may be scared of what’s going on online and they could feel trapped. They may feel the need to speak to you but are too scared and feel that they may be in a lot of trouble. The more they worry about whats going on online, the more they will spiral into depression.

Are They Addicted To Using Their Phone Or Social Media Account? It Could Be Your Teen Friend Is Being Groomed

We all have trouble putting our phones down our phones seem to be an extension of our bodies. But is your friend on their phone all the time? Does their attitude change when they have checked their phone? Do they look worried? A paedophile/predator will get angry if the victim isn’t online all the time they want to control. Are they checking their social media all the time? Is there an older person constantly commenting, liking pictures etc? Perhaps something doesn’t seem right.

Are Your Friend And Her Mum Having Problems In Their Relationship?

A paedophile will come between a victim and her mum. They will tell the victim that nobody understands her like they do. The paedophile will put ideas and thoughts into a victims head. They will tell the victim that the mother doesn’t understand the relationship. And a rift that’s already there can grow or a once close relationship can be left in tatters.

Has Your Friend’s Sexual Behaviour Changed

Are they sending naked or sexy photos to someone? Have they suddenly become sexual in public and started to dress more provocatively? You need to explain to them that once a nude photo is sent in a message, it can be shared anywhere online. The photo will never go away and can end up in so many different predators’ hands.

Does The New Boyfriend/ Friend Seem Too Good To Be True?

Is everything happening fast? Does everything seem wrong about the relationship? And does the boyfriend seem to be the most perfect boyfriend EVER? These are just a few of the signs that could indicate that your friend is being groomed online. 

So How Can You Help And Spot That Your Teen Friend Is Being Groomed?

• Listen to them, but don’t panic them. Don’t Judge them and just reassure them that you will help them out of the situation
• Advise them to talk to their parents or another trusted adult. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a teacher at school or work colleague. 
• If you can’t convince them to talk to an adult, but you are convinced that there is something wrong – then you tell a trusted adult.
• Explain the danger that they are in with the ‘relationship’, it is dangerous to meet people from the internet that they don’t know, even if they think they do know them.
• Talk to and try and get your friend to talk to someone who can be trusted. Someone who is experienced in helping with this kind of situation. They can email or call someone to get help and support. They can call Childline 0800 1111. Contact CEOP (Child Exploitation and Online Protection) or if there is an immediate danger you need to call 999.

It’s Not Easy To Spot Your Teen Friend Is Being Groomed

It is not easy to spot your teen friend is being groomed, so if it has happened. You need to be there and support her. It is not your fault if your friend has been groomed. Predators are clever and they know what they are doing. Just being there for your friend is enough.