How To Keep Your Kids Safe On Their Phones

Last Updated on: 23rd February 2023, 01:16 am

You can keep your kids safe, but sometimes it’s hard.

Recently, Tilly, had her phone taken off her because I found out that she was messaging a man who she randomly dialled and was arranging to meet him at one of our local restaurants. My world collapsed as I saw history repeating itself. If you have followed my blog from the beginning, you will know that my older daughter Beth was groomed online by a paedophile. And he then got her pregnant and offered her baby on the dark web to other paedophiles. My daughter chose to stay with the paedophile and her daughter was removed and adopted.

So when I found these messages, I was mortified. But the more I delved into her phone and looked at deleted messages, the more I realised this bloke was innocent. The deleted messages told this man that she was 15 years old (she is 12) and then he stopped replying to her. So she started sending him abuse, calling him a paedophile and saying some nasty stuff.

I was ready to go to the police as I thought she was being groomed, like her older sister. But she wasn’t, she was being nasty to someone who had spoiled the little bit of fun she was having. If I had gone to the police, this man’s life could have been ruined and he was innocent in the whole situation. Yet once you get accused of being a paedophile and you are innocent- your life changes for the worse.

Checking The Phone To Keep Your Kids Safe

If your child is under 16, then you should keep your kids safe. You can do this by checking their phone. This helps them as well as you have a little snoop. So many kids are bullied by social media, so it is good to keep an eye on it. Some of the stuff on your child’s phone will go over your head, and some of the lingoes, you won’t know. But you will notice if something is wrong.

Some people disagree with checking their kid’s phones. But if you have already had a child groomed or you know a child that has been groomed, you are constantly aware of problems that could happen. My daughter Beth got in touch with Tilly before Covid. It was always by video call and as Tilly was only 9 years old, there was always an adult in the room with Tilly. Beth didn’t like this and has expressed over the past couple of years how much she hated it. But when you live with a paedophile, you have no right to demand private calls with an underage child. Eventually, Beth stopped calling, no loss to us as I wanted to protect Tilly. But if I didn’t have someone sitting with Tilly on the phone, you never know how it could have gone.

Don’t be afraid to listen to your kid’s calls and make sure you know who they are video calling. Remember you are doing this to keep your kids safe from harm.

Know The Passwords To Keep Your Kids Safe

If your child has a password, make sure that you know their password. This makes it easier to check their phone and make sure everything is okay. If they will not share their password, this is a sure indication that something is wrong. You need to also know where to check as well. Know what messaging apps they are using and who they are chatting to.

Tell Them Not To Use Disappearing Messages

Kids use WhatsApp all of the time, but now they have introduced disappearing messages it has become more of a nightmare for kids. I have no idea why they thought it was a good idea to introduce this, but they are here to stay. The good news is that you can turn them off if anyone enables them on a WhatsApp account. If you find that someone has enabled disappearing messages whilst messaging your child. You simply go to the top of the message contact. Then click the 3 dots and you will see the disappearing messages option. Click it, and it will give you the option to turn them off.

Tilly knows that if anyone uses disappearing messages on WhatsApp, she will lose her account. So if your child has friends using disappearing messages, turn them off. Then ask your child to explain to their friends that they will lose their account. If they are real friends they will be happy to go with what your child requests. But let’s face it, kids are little shits and sometimes they are two-faced little shits. So whether they will respect your child’s request, is another matter.

Sadly kids use Snapchat as a form of bullying, so this is where you need to put your foot down. Please tell them they cannot have it until they are old enough to stand up for themselves. Kids know that there is no evidence of bullying if the image or message wasn’t screenshot.

Explain That Inappropriate Photos Shouldn’t Be Sent To Others

This doesn’t just mean nudes, it means anything inappropriate from racist images and chats to bullying. Even if they delete these images, you can guarantee that someone has screenshot them and sent them to someone else. Then as they get older these screenshots show up and can affect a job they are going for. Or even worse they can be shared on social media to show what they are/were like.

When it comes to inappropriate images like nudes, even if they are only topless photos. They need to know that these images can be shared all over the internet. They can even end up on the dark web or on a paedophiles computer. These types of photos could be passed around their school through social media, making it difficult for your child.

Look For Deleted Messages To Keep Kids Safe

Kids think that they are being clever when they delete messages. But what they don’t all know is that there is a recycling bin. It took me a while to find it, but eventually, I got there. Always check that recycling bin for deleted messages from people. If they use emails, check their email bin too.

Don’t forget to check messages on their Instagram app and other social media that they might use. Always look for social media and messaging apps that they might have downloaded that you don’t know about. There might even be apps that you have never heard about on their phone. Kids are sneaky.

Install A Tracker To Keep Your Kids Safe

We use Life 360 on Tilly’s phone. It is free to download, but there is also a subscription that you can join for a few quid a month. The tracker isn’t the best, but it does get quite accurate to where Tilly is all of the time. But if your child does go missing from school or fails to come home, you know where they are. If you feel like your child is in a place that they shouldn’t be you can get them home. In worst-case scenarios, you can call the police if you need to.

Chat To Them About Staying Safe On The Phone

We think that giving our kids a phone, is keeping them safe. But in reality, they can get into so much trouble using it if they don’t know how to use it safely. Chat with them and give them boundaries, remember you are the one paying the phone bill, so you have the last say.

Tell them not to get involved in any bullying chat groups and what to do if someone suggests something that they think is wrong. Make it obvious that they can always come to you if they need to chat about something on their phone.

If you are worried you can always go to NSPCC to get some advice too