How To Tell Kids If A Parent Leaves Home

Last Updated on: 23rd February 2025, 12:28 pm

It happens to the strongest of marriages! We fall out of love and the arguments start. We don’t want our kids to remember the arguments and hate we have developed for each other. So the best thing for everyone is to go our separate ways. It isn’t easy, but you have to do what you can to protect your kids. Sometimes when a parent leaves home, it is amicable and you can co-parent a lot better.

Children mimic our feelings. So if you are sad, your children will be sad. If you are angry, they will show anger too. And they also feel insecure if a parent leaves the home. They will think that if one parent leaves, the other one will too. You need to be as honest as you can be with them, but also consider how much they will understand without being scared or sad. Here are some suggestions on how to explain when a parent leaves the family home and moves somewhere else.

These tips can also help if the child asks why the other parent is sleeping on the sofa, Or if they ask why you don’t love each other anymore.

Telling Kids Under 5 When A Parent Leaves The Home

For this example, we will say Mummy has left the home.

You would tell them that Mummy and you are both a bit cross or angry at the moment and Mummy has decided to stay somewhere for a while. But Mummy loves you very much and she always thinks about you. She will phone, video call and come and see you as often as she can. Reassure them that you are not going anywhere so they do not worry.

Kids between 5 And 10 Years old

Explain to them that You and the other parent are having too many differences at the moment. That you don’t like being angry with the other parent, but it is hard to stay with someone who you are angry with or don’t love. Especially when both parents know how much it upsets the kids. Explain that you are going to try to work things out (if this is your plan).

Explain that both parents still love the child very much and they always will be there for them. It isn’t the fault of the child. It isn’t anything they have done. Most children of this age blame themselves because they think they were naughty. Explain the other parent will call, and visit as much as they can. And that they can also visit them.

Telling Secondary School Kids When A Parent Leaves Home

Older kids will have picked up on everything that is going on in the home. And they are trying to cope with their own hormones and emotions as well as a marriage break-up. Older kids will talk to their friends about the break-up because they won’t want to upset you. And to be honest, when kids talk to their friends, they get impartial advice. There is a likeliness that their parents have been through a break up too. So don’t be offended if they talk to their friends rather than you.

They are at an age now where they can keep a relationship with the other parent and not need you as a go-between. They might get secretive as they don’t want to tell you what the other parent is up to. That is okay, they don’t want to upset you. They will want to go and stay with the absent parent and maybe even go away with them. Encourage a relationship with the other parent, because it will show you are supportive of your child.

You don’t need to explain to them that nobody will ever stop being their parents, but they will need reassurance that you both still love them. Lastly don’t ever blame the other parent. Don’t make the other parent out to be the bad one in the situation. They will soon find out themselves. If the other parent had an affair or did something else wrong – does your hormonal child really need to know that?

If you are going through a divorce or separation, you also need some support. You can find some divorce tips and advice here and if you need advice on talking about divorce, this might help.