How I Live With My Mental Health Problems

Last Updated on: 24th February 2023, 07:48 pm

My day starts at 6.50 am when my alarm goes off for Tilly to get up for school. I tell her she has 10 minutes whilst the alarm goes on snooze. I doze off again too until the alarm goes off again. I call her to get up again, and she drags her arse out of bed. Whilst I doze again! With my mental health, it is so difficult to get up in the mornings. So this is how a day in my life with mental health problems starts every single morning.

I have an alarm set for the time that Tilly has to leave for school. She comes into my room and I check her uniform. They have a uniform check at school so it is better for me to check it before school. She leaves for work and I go back to sleep. Does this morning routine make me a shit mum? Yes, it does. But it also helps Tilly to become more independent. Getting up in the mornings is hard because when you suffer from depression, you cannot face the world. You want to stay in the safety of your own room and house.

Routine Is Important For My Mental Health.

One thing that is the same every morning is that I phone my daughter-in-law and get to chat with my 2-year-old granddaughter. They live in Holland so it’s not like we can pop around the corner. Every day I like to talk to her because she absolutely sets my day up. My family are such a positive thing in my life and I love them so much. If I am having a bad day already and I get to speak to Amber and Zozo, then my day can be turned around. Amber is like another daughter to me and I like to think we have a good relationship.

I work 12 hours a week and in March my hours changed and instead of working set days, I needed to become more flexible. Six months on and it is still difficult to get used to the flexible shifts. But I love my job! If I work in the morning, It gives me a reason to get out of bed.

If I am working in the afternoon, I get to stay in bed a little longer. But by the afternoon, I am tired again and I have had all morning to worry about leaving the house. I hate going out, I feel so vulnerable until I get from A – B. As I walk to work, I avoid making eye contact with people. But when I am at work, hiding behind the till counter I feel invincible. Weird eh?

Suffering From Anxiety

If I have been working in the morning, I get some shopping on the way home. Then I have a little afternoon sleep. I guess you are reading this and wondering how much a person can sleep in a day. But I guess sleeping means I don’t have to face real life. Even my phone ringing can make me want to hide away.

I am working in the afternoon and I come home at about 6 pm, I am really grumpy. Being with people is difficult and being nice to people wears me out. I just want to curl into a ball and forget being with people. I have definitely learned how to hide my mental health over the years. If you saw me, you would never know I had mental health problems. I wear the mask so well!

Travelling With Mental Health Problems

People often ask me how I can travel as much as I can, especially with mental health problems. But the truth is that I cannot do it on my own. I have so many people that help me when I travel. I always travel with Tilly and I know that I cannot have a meltdown with her around. She makes me feel stronger, she always has.

I also get help at the airport when we fly. We have used the assistance for a few years and it started with me getting assistance on the other side of security. Because I panic about getting to the gate on time, I panic about getting on the wrong plane. I panic about having a meltdown. These days I get assistance before security, ever since the gun incident at Stansted a few years ago. You can read about that in this blog post.

When you book assistance, there is someone to help you get on the plane and they are aware of your problems on the plane. Then there is someone who helps you to get off the plane and directs you to the right way to go. Getting assistance at the airport is an absolute game-changer. If you are looking for ways to keep calm, you can get some great tips here.

The medication I Take For My Mental Health Problems

I take 100 mg of Sertraline every day to help with the depression. Taking medication is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign that you are facing your problems and that you are strong! Facing your mental health problems head-on is the first start on the road to recovery.