How To Deal With Your Past And Move On

Last Updated on: 22nd August 2024, 10:10 pm

Coming to terms with emotional scarring from your past can be very difficult, especially if you have been through a very upsetting or worrying time. Whatever you do your past will always be there, lurking in the background. A piece of music or something someone says may bring it back. The important thing is to get things into perspective and not become pessimistic and irrational because of past events. You can deal with your past and move on, life will get easier.

Deal With Your Past Abusive Relationships

If you have been in a very intense and dramatic relationship and were let down or abused by your spouse it is tempting to assume that nobody out there will ever really appreciate you or treat you right.

That getting into a relationship will be full of sadness and eventually end. Yet nothing can be more from the truth. Because of your past, you can now be more resilient. You have learnt from it and you can take the lessons it taught you to move on and make future relationships better.

You will be more able to spot a loser than you were then. Or make the right decisions when problems come up. In fact, the more traumatic your past was, the more able you are to spot likely troublemakers or users, or deal with them if things do not go the way you want. People who have had an easy trouble free life are quite often very gullible and naive, unprepared for the real World!

Change Your Future And Deal With Your Past

Never dwell on things that cannot be changed. It is pointless, a total waste of emotional energy and time. Only look at changes and decisions, where you can mould things. If you have a choice of five options, instead of moaning that you cannot decide, be grateful that you are in the driving seat and it is your choice. Not that somebody else is deciding and forcing you in a direction that you do not like.

Remind yourself that most people have had a sad past of some sort or another. You are not that unique. Yes, your situation was a one-off. But there are lots of other people who have had a similar situation, or even a worse one.

If you are forever dwelling on what happened, things that cannot be changed, and allowing it to mould you into a pessimistic or sad person, you are moulding a sad future for yourself. Whoever has hurt you in the past should not be allowed to hurt you further by ruining more of your life. Rise above the hurt they caused you.

Do Not Let Them Win

Be bigger and better than they are. If you do not, they win. And you are unhappy. Do not let others be happy at your expense. When you think about your life look at how it is now, not how it was when these sad events happened. Then look at how wonderful it can become in the future. The only limit to how happy you will be is your own.

If you play safe and do not get attached to anyone, shy away from commitment, or always choose the easy option, then your life may well be safe and peaceful but it will also have none of those highs that keep us going. We all get bad times, sad times, low times. We do not appreciate the good times and the highs without them. How happy we are depends on how we look at things rather than what happens.

The glass can be half empty or half full. Those with a half-full glass are the happiest. If you need to chat to your teenager about anything, especially relationships, this post might help.