How To Help Kids Cope With Stress And Anxiety

Last Updated on: 3rd May 2025, 07:45 pm

I have written in the past that Matilda (Tilly) has suffered from her mental health. And when she was younger, she had some help from the junior mental health unit as well as some therapy at school. This did help her cope with stress and anxiety to some extent. But nowhere near enough to undo the trauma that she was left with. When it comes to helping kids cope with stress and anxiety, you need to be strong and supportive.

Sadly, children are only entitled to one lot of therapy for about 12 weeks, at one session a week. This isn’t enough, and it falls on the parents to have to deal with the situation all the time. Some parents are at their wits’ end because they don’t like to see their kids upset, stressed or worried. They don’t know how to deal with it. So today I wanted to share some ideas of how I helped Matilda deal with stress when she was younger.

Listen To Your Child As They Cope With Stress

Sometimes we hear our children, but we don’t LISTEN to them. We switch off, and their words seem to merge into one. But it’s not until you listen to your child that you realise and understand what they are saying between the lines. Read her face – are the words coming out of her mouth matching the look of stress on her face? How many times are we pissed off, but we tell people ‘I’m Fine!’. Matilda had clocked on to the fact that sometimes, I was not listening to her talking, and she asked me questions about what she was talking about.

Private Counselling Helps Kids Cope With Stress And Anxiety

If the NHS has no appointments available for your child, you can still book a counsellor through an online website. A counsellor will help your child and sometimes help you too. They will help you to find ways of coping and ways to encourage your child. Tilly has done play therapy before, and she felt free to talk about whatever she wanted.

Ask How Their Day Went

I always used to try and ask Matilda how her day went when she was younger. It’s something I still ask. Although now, her day is filled with teenage drama and stuff going on at secondary school. When we were on our walk home, we would talk about what she did. You can usually tell how their day went by the tone of their voice. If they tell me it was good, but their tone is negative. Or there is a false smile on their face, then you know there is something wrong. And you can deal with it there and then. Sometimes the walk home might involve tears if your child has had an extremely stressful day. Especially if they are struggling with the schoolwork. But you can talk it out, and your child knows that they are not alone.

Give Them Things To Look Forward To

I would always make sure that Matilda has something to look forward to. It might only be a day out somewhere, or it might only be a new toy that she has to review. And sometimes it was a holiday for her to look forward to. But I found that if she had something positive to look forward to, she was more focused on the positive side of life.

Mindset And Motivation Helps Kids Cope With Stress

This was always my absolute favourite way of helping Tills deal with her stress and anxiety. In fact it still is! Mainly because for many years, I didn’t actually think it helped me, but one day, it all just clicked into place, and suddenly I understood it. I was about 38 years old when someone tried to get me into using a positive mindset – I didn’t like it because it was changing the way I wanted to see life. I was suffering from severe Postnatal depression, and I couldn’t see how a positive mindset could change how I felt. But a few years after the therapy stopped, I realised that it actually can help you.

The ideas were planted in my head at my therapy sessions, but I think, as I was 38, I didn’t want to change the way that I was thinking. However, my mindset changed the way that I saw life. I was determined that Matilda would not struggle through life with negative thoughts like me. I decided that I would try and encourage her to see the good in all of her problems as well as herself. Now she tries to solve her problems more positively. Firstly, we would also ‘plant’ positive things in her head every day. We would tell her that she was going to have a good day. We would talk about how great her day is going to be and what she has to look forward to. And we would get her to say that she is beautiful and confident. This would set her up for the day. If you think these things in your head, then you start to believe in yourself.

Help Them Understand Other People Can Have Bad Days Too

If she came home from school, stressed and upset because someone had said something unkind to her. Or she saw something wrong in a person, then we would find something good about them. Or we would talk about ways to help them be more positive. If someone had upset her at school, we would talk about the fact that they could be having a bad day too. Teach them that they need to be there for their friends too. Maybe their friends aren’t as lucky to have someone to listen to them. And that maybe they need to be the person who listens. If you have an understanding and open relationship with your child, then they will come to you and share.

Worry Dolls Can Help Kids Cope With Stress And Anxiety

You can buy worry dolls or worry bears, where the kids write all of their stresses down and pop them inside a worry dolls bag or pocket. But it can work just as well with an old glass jar. With a doll, you get them to write down what is stressing them out and what is making them sad. Then the doll looks after it and never lets it go. With a jar, they can write down what is wrong, and they pop it in the jar and screw the lid on. This seals the worry in the jar and stops it from getting out. You can decorate the jar so they can’t see their old worries in there, too. Give older kids a diary to write in. I have used my blog to share my feelings when I am feeling stressed and unable to cope. Writing gets things out of your head, and it feels like it’s been shared. You do need to remember to respect your teen’s privacy if you give them a diary to write in – there may be things in there that you don’t want to see, like the things that they get up to!